Look At That View

"Scattered winds blow me cross the ocean,
Turns and spins, leaves me breathless, but with
No sense of my direction,
Or where the main land sits,
that's where I find my soul."

So, I know for a fact that when people tell you to look at the lyrics, you just pretend to read them (hey, I do it too) but before you read this, READ THE LYRICS!! come on, suck it up, it's only four lines....okay five.

This is from Joshua James (i've noticed i like lots of guys with alliterations, ex: Jack Johnson, Patrick Park, Joshua James.....that's kinda weird) but anyways, it blows me away. God gives you revelations in STRANGE places sometimes, but when I was in West Virginia, I couldn't stop myself from running outside and standing on the grass looking at everything around me....IT WAS AMAZING! I took pictures, but they don't nearly do that view justice.

When I get caught up with all the things my friends are doing and I get disconnected from God, I feel a difference in my soul. More than anything in the world, I want to be back on top of that hill for the rest of my life. But that's not god's plan. He reveals himself to us so that we can help others experience the kind of joy that I and I'm sure you, have felt. Those moments strengthen us, and I feel blessed to be entrusted with this mission. Sometimes we get off course and lose our focus....but I NEVER can stop thinking about that hill, that view and the God that I serve.

"Commit everything to the Lord, trust him! He will make your INNOCENCE RADIATE LIKE THE DAWN and the JUSTICE OF YOUR CAUSE WILL SHINE LIKE THE NOONDAY SUN!" - Psalm 36:5-6

Perceptions

Love is a word like no other. People have so many different interpretations and it has different meanings to so many people. For me, love is something that I don't completely understand. I say "I love you" to my family, and I used to say it to a certain someone but something that I have learned is that there is more about love that I don't understand, than what I do. Love is so much more than just a word. If you've ever heard the song, (Love is a verb!) alrite, so, 1 John 4:16 says, "God is love." I've learned that the way we love people says so much about who we are as a person and something that has hit me in the past year is that if how we love says a lot about who we are than, I am absolutely 100% screwed. God So loved the world that He gave one and only son. What does that even say about how God loves us and who He is. I honestly can't even imagine what that must have been like to love someone so much to give up your own son. It kind of boggles my mind but its just really amazing to see the sacrifice that God made for each of us. So you're probably wondering how I connect this to music so here ya go. A little while ago, I had to work on a poetry project for school so a couple of the poems that I wrote were about Love so I'm just gonna give you guys a sample of what I wrote and you give me your feedback!!!



A Love


I've been falling
Falling in and out of love with you
Here you are, here with me
And I'm just falling in and out of love with you

Do I know what love is
To honestly love a person
What does that even mean
I'm looking outside and trying to look in
But I'm just falling in and out of love with You

Each and every day seems to be a new ride
Without a guide, where am I to turn
Love seems to be something so legendary
Something I might have not even grasped
What does it mean to be in love

I've been there, done that
But this, I can't quite seem to understand this
Love is a mystery to me
You seem to know what you're talking about
How do you keep something so alive, so vibrant


People talk about Jesus
And how God sent His son
I cant even fathom what that must have been like
To give Your son's life because of love

Here I am just falling
Falling in and out of love with You
I'm sorry I'm not better
I'm sorry I haven't learned yet
Maybe someday I'll learn how to love

100 Years

Life goes by waaaaaay to fast. Has anyone else noticed this? I certaintly have. It seems like yesterday I was running around playing "army" in the woods in my backyard with my friends. It scares me sometimes. Who am I kidding, it scares me all the time!!! I mean, I only have one more year in high school then i'm off to college and then it's the real world. YIKES!!! The real world. Soon i'll be in charge of my own life. Sometimes I think we all take our high school years for granted. I mean think about it. Your high school years are the best!!! You live with your parents so you don't have to worry about paying for much. Sure you have school but when you think about school is alot better than a year round 9 to 5 job. Soon before you know it you'll be 67 years old and wondering were all those years went to. The song 100 years describes it best:

15 there's still time for you
Time to buy, Time to lose yourself
Within a morning star
15 I'm all right with you
15, there's never a wish better than this
When you only got 100 years to live
Half time goes by
Suddenly you‚re wise
Another blink of an eye
67 is gone
The sun is getting high
We're moving on...
So i've come upon a revalation. Our lives are way to short to do nothing but worry about the future. Matthew 6:34 says, "Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself." So, from now on I'm gonna live for the moment. You should too. Enjoy life, go skydiving, take a roadtrip, do something crazy everyday. It's the only way to make life fun.

Surrender

"At the most I’m a glare,
I’m the hopeless son who’s hardly there.
I’m the open sign that’s always busted.
I’m the friend you need, but can’t be trusted."

Seem kinda emo? Well too bad, it's not. This is a guy named Patrick Park, someone I've just recently discovered now that I'm full swing into my "acoustic" phase of music. This is the chorus to his song "Something Pretty" and for me, it was one of those "WAKE UP I'M A METAPHOR" songs.

It seems that sometimes I treat God like a vending machine, whenever I get a craving or if I have some spare change. But that's not how it works. God is a constant, something that's always there FOREVER AND EVER. We should never use God as "a friend you need, but can't be trusted" because that's not how he sees us. For some reason that none of us will ever be able to imagine, God chose to love us and be with us forever. Surrendering ourselves to him is a small price to be close to him.....think about it, we're chillin with the God of the UNIVERSE!!!!!!!

A Greater Thing

OK so I have been thinking, do people see God in me? In
how I interact with people at school, and with my family, and in my
schoolwork, and in swim, and well in everything I do. Can people tell that
I love God? Is what I do showing other people light? And I guess the
answer for the majority of all these questions∑ is no. I have really been
having a hard time in school and all just keeping up with work cause school
has always been my weak point, and am I pleasing God in what I do with
school work? No I‚m not. My family situation∑ has been a really rough one
this year for those you who don‚t really know me all that well∑ my dads
still living in Florida trying to sell our house down there, so I‚m up here
with my mom. Which for you girls... know can be a bit of a struggle, just
because of all the fights and disagreements of growing up and growing apart
from your mom. But am I pleasing God in how I‚m treating the situation? No∑
I‚m not. I mean that‚s just two example of how I‚m not living my WHOLE life
out for God∑. to show his love∑ and to show his character.

So my dad just got back for a visit from Florida, and my
sister was coming back from college so we were on out way to pick her up
from her boyfriend‚s. And I‚m just kinda sitting there listening to my ipod
and the song that I'm listening to is called Beautiful Love- The Afters.
And as I'm thinking about all this stuff and listening to this song, it hits
me. Wow∑ why am I so selfish. What could happen if I just show God in my
life∑ in ALL that I do? And right then this part of the song starts to
play∑.

The secret of the world is written in the stars
I'm carrying your heart in mine

What a beautiful smile
Can I stay for a while
On this beautiful night
We'll make everything right
My beautiful love

Maybe a greater thing will happen
Maybe all will see
Maybe our love will catch like fire
As it burns through me

Wow. The first part of that∑ God talking right into my heart. Yall ever had
that feeling? Ugh well it‚s an amazing feeling!! I mean when I needed
encouragement the most. I hear these words. „I'm carrying your heart in
mine.‰
And it‚s like∑ he saying. „Lauren∑ let me stay. I can make everything right.
My Beautiful Love.‰

And then when I heard the next part∑ its like∑ the answer to my questions.
What if I showed God in everything I do? What If I stopped trying to fix
everything on my own. What I Let God take it and lived it all out for HIS
glory, and not my own. „Maybe a greater thing will happen∑. Maybe all
will see∑ maybe HIS love will catch like fire∑ as it burns through ME.‰
Maybe if I change myself, maybe if I show who God really is, then his love
will catch life fire, from person to person to person to person. Think
about how many people would then know Christ‚s love. The number∑ is
unthinkable!!! So I guess ill just end it with a question to you all that
read this∑ and feel God tugging at your heart to do the same.

Are you willing to let it go, and to Live and to spread the burning love of
Christ?

Valley of Vision

My big sister made a CD for me with this song on it and I just fell in love with it. The words create a powerful paradox. I have begun to really embrace the paradoxes of Christianity. I think the more you walk with Christ, the more you get to experience the reality of the paradoxes and the more you have to praise God for.

The part that convicts me and encourages me most is: "although my humbling wouldn't be my decision, it‚s here Your glory shines so bright." I think humility is one of the hardest things about being a Christian yet one of the most attractive things about a person. I tell God that I want Him to be glorified, but in order to really mean it, I need to walk humbly.

When I was searching for the lyrics to this song on the internet, I found out that it comes from a collection of Puritan poems written by John Bunyan, Isaac Watts, and others. Some of them never even meant for their prayers to be published. They wrote them just to share their innermost thoughts with God. How wise their words are!

Whenever I‚m in the valley, I‚m always encouraged to know that God is molding me and making me more like Him. Even little valleys, like the whole college visiting/applying/deciding business has taught me to trust Him more. As annoying as it is to not know exactly where I‚m supposed to go or what I‚m supposed to study, God has helped me find joy in the process, joy in not knowing, and joy in just trusting.

"Valley of Vision" (Sovereign Grace Ministries)

When You lead me to the valley of vision
I can see You in the heights
And though my humbling wouldn't be my decision
It‚s here Your glory shines so bright
So let me learn that the cross precedes the crown
To be low is to be high
That the valley's where You make me more like Christ

Let me find Your grace in the valley
Let me find Your life in my death
Let me find Your joy in my sorrow
Your wealth in my need
That You're near with every breath
In the valley

In the daytime there are stars in the heavens
But they only shine at night
And the deeper that I go into darkness
The more I see their radiant light
So let me learn that my losses are my gain
To be broken is to heal
That the valley's where Your power is revealed

Oh, To Be Tested

I love Jack Johnson. His music is so relaxing and cool. His little known best friend is Donovan Frankenreiter. Yes, funny name. But amazing music. This is his song "What'cha Know About":

"Sometimes your life can crumble
sometimes your soul might make a stumble
but you can't drown in your sorrow
cause you might be found
you might be found tomorrow"

Sometimes it seems that the hard times will never end. I know that it has been that way for me in the past. One day when I was reading my bible, God gave me a verse for my needs after a year of trials and tests.

Paul is speaking: "..to keep me from becoming proud, I was given a thorn in my flesh...three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. Each time he said, "MY GRACE IS ALL YOU NEED. MY POWER WORKS BEST IN WEAKNESS." So now I am lad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me." - 2 Corinthians 12:7-8

Hard times are...well...hard. They test us mentally, physically and spiritually. Sometimes you just feel drained and you want to give up, wallow in your misery. But as Donovan Frankenreiter writes, "we might be found tomorrow', and that gives me hope for the day to come. God has an amazing plan for me and I will grow and run through all the trials that I face to further glorify him and his children. STAY STRONG!

No Regrets

"I can't believe that we would lie in our graves
Wondering if we had spent our living days well

I can't believe that we would lie in our graves
Wondering what might have been"

These lines are from the king himself, Dave Matthews. It pretty much sums it all up. Sometimes when I run, I get revelations about my life. We get one shot. To be the best that we can be. For God. We have to live him, breathe him and preach him. Because when we do, our reward will be more than we can fathom....life with him for eternity.......ETERNITY.

Life is meant to be lived all out. 110%. Till the whistle blows. No regrets. All for Him.

"I gave up all that inferior stuff so I could know Christ personally, experience his resurrected power, be a partner in his suffering, and go all the way with him to death itself." - Philippines 3:10 (The Message)

Fun things happen when you put your iPod on 'Shuffle'

If you're like me, then you keep songs on your iPod even if you don't like them or if they're outdated. When I decided to mix it up the other day on my plane ride home from Manchester (where My Chemical Romance was just about to play...ironic???) I got a plethora of songs from back in the old days: "1,000 Miles" by Vanessa Carlton, "Ocean Avenue" by Yellowcard, "Boys of Summer" by the Ataris, and the one that I will harp on in this blog: "Shimmer" by Fuel....if you haven't heard this song, then you obviously didn't go to middle school.

"We're here and now, but will we ever be again?
cause I have found
All that shimmers in this world is sure to fade
Away again
Guess I'll let it go"

People let us down...it's harsh, but true. But I know that no matter WHAT I do in my life, God has shown me that he is always going to be right there. He's never gonna let us down, he's our strength, our hope and our one chance of survival.

"The grass withers and the flowers fade, but the word of OUR God stands forever" - Isaiah 40:8

Paradigm

There are certain words in life that just captivate me. Have you ever heard a word and just been like 'holy junk!' what a word! Well outside of my little escapade of excitement there, i absolutely love the word paradigm. The word flat out sounds and amazing and I heard it in a song that is pretty much wonderful. It's actually the title of the song and the chorus says, "O I give my life to You so I can gain it back again". For me thats pretty stinking intense! I have been living my life for me and my own desires and I can honestly vouch for the fact that this world honestly does just leave you empty. The word paradigm means a lifestyle or the way someone lives their life. For me, this word was great because it was one of the first so called "big" words that I ever put into a school paper. But onto greater things, the song has a really great message behind but the thing about it is that speaks into my life on great levels. Something may feel right in the moment or whatever but what happens when the fun or the excitement wears out? I give my life to you so i can gain it back again. I'm kinda just blown away by this. When we finally reach a point where we can say God, just take this from me, this world has nothing for me, then, is the point when we gain our life back; when we surrender all that we have and all that we are. I'm not claiming to be at this point, because I'm most definitely not there but I can tell you with all of my heart that I want to get there. I want a life in Christ. A life full of compassion, mercy, grace, love, and so many other awesome characteristics. I hold my ground while the paradigm keeps shifting.

Uhhhh ... Untitled

So, this is the third blog I've done tonight (it's 12:30 AM and I'm kind of tired) but I'll wrap it up with this. It's a compliation of different lyrics from all types of songs....I wrote it awhile ago, don't ask why because then I'll just look like some pale, interpersonal nerd who reads nothing but Emily Dickenson all day (don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with Emily Dickenson)...I just did it (as those britians would say......that's you, DOUG) "on a whim." It looks long, but it's not, please read it:

Now the wind is high and the rain is heavy and water’s rising in the levy. Still I think of you when the sun goes down, it never goes away but it all works out. Let us pause in life’s pleasures and count its many tears. She had faded jeans with soft black leather; she had eyes so blue they looked like weather. I’ve had some time to think about it and watch the sun set like a stone. I’ve had some time to think about you on the long ride home. This is the part where you may want to give in and I will remind you that we both once said we were born to stumble and to learn in a stardust covered universe. That’s not the beginning of the end, that’s the return to yourself, the return to innocence. Pick me up from the bottom, pay no mind to taunts or advances, take chances on everyday. Let these waters flow, this isn’t how I go. Lights will guide you home and ignite your bones. Hard times come again no more. Don’t close your eyes. Where are you going? Don’t hide away like the ocean but you can take in the smell and the sound. I do know one thing; where you are is where I belong. Did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there? Somehow I can’t let it go. Take your shower, shine your shoes, we’ve got no time to lose. I can’t believe that we would lie in our graves wondering if we had spent our living days well. Some will win, some will lose, all you need is love. I believe in memories. Every story I have told is part of you. My heart beats like tympani drums, keeping the time as the melody’s sung. Some days I can’t believe, others I’m on my knees. This is your life, are you who you want to be? It’s not always easy but sometimes life can be deceiving. It took a world of troubles, it took a world of tears, it took a long time to get back here. Everything’s wrong, but it’s alright. He’s got the whole world in his hands. These are the days, these are the moments that pass us by. Save tonight, the second hand unwinds. If you fall I will catch you. This is the sound of settling. I wanted to see something that’s different, something they said would change in me, and I found you. When I see your smile, tears run down my face. This world breaks through my soul and I know deep inside me, you can be the one. If I traded it all for one thing, just for one thing. I’m trading my sorrows. Running away like you do, you’ve got to slow your engines when God is in pursuit.

The Guide To A Teenage Girl (sort of)

So, Valentine's Day just passed. Let me tell you, that is THE WORST 24 hours of any single, teenage girl's life....it really, really is. While some are gloating in their roses and boyfriends, girls like me are stuck watching "You've Got Mail," drowning out our sorrows in a gallon of Oreo cookie ice cream, 3 Hershey bars, 2 Blowpops, a slice of Red Velvet cake and a cherry on top. Ok, so it's an exaggeration (btw, I hate cherries) but February the 24th is still a really hard day for every teenage girl, at least for me and everyone else I've talked to.

Something God has been teaching me this year is timing. It's a simple concept really: I don't control anything. But it is SOOOOO hard in this day and age to walk down the halls with people making out right and left, and people confessing their love to their science partner, you know...that stuff. This past year, god told me "chill out....you don't need a boyfriend right now. I'm working on someone for you right his moment, shaping him for the day that you meet him" And I just sighed. It's hard, I really do want to have that special boyfriend figure, it's my teenage hormones kicking in...but laying in bed, I will forever remember the words of the not-quite-eternal Alexi Murdoch (he is AMAZING!!!! Pullleeeeze check him out on iTunes!!!) in his song "orange sky"

"In your love

My salvation lies in your love

My salvation lies in your love

My salvation lies in your love

In your love

In your love"

God knows about teenage girl hormones, he knows about the temptations we face but we are NEVER EVER without love, he is always there for us. And we can't jump the gun on relationships, they have to be on his timing, for his glory and as hard as that is for me....I know that it's gonna be AMAZING in the long run.

Why Walk When You Can Run?

I know this is long, but humor me, please.

"Into marvelous light I'm running

Out of darkness, out of pain

By the cross you are the truth, you are the life, you are the way"

-Marvelous Light by Charlie Hall

If you know anything about me, you know that I like sports. And if you know a little more about me, you'll know that I run......alot. It's an awkward form of exercise, the combination of a grueling punishment and exhilarating adrenaline rush. One day I told my friend about my horrible mile repeats that I had completed the day before and she looked at me and said "Katherine, why the heck do you do that?!?!!!" There were a million places for me to start and not a single one of them answered the question....so it got me thinking.

This past year has been, without a doubt, the hardest year of my life. Between the decisions my brother made at college, to losing touch with great friends, to other trials I don't even have room to explain, I have been tested. And for some reason, during these tests and trials, I started running. It was actually an accident, something that was not supposed to happen. I was devastated about not making the Robinson soccer team (as in, I cried for about 3 days), so my parents just suggested I join track. After all, my dad was a runner, my brother is a runner, my uncle ran the Boston marathon....you get the picture. So I tried it. I thought it was cool and I was good at it, so this fall I joined cross country.

Lemme tell you, cross country is the time when God fully revealed himself to me. I'm not going to lie, running (pardon the french) sucks, it really, really does. But something happened this past fall. At every meet, at every practice and every time I laced up my Mizuno's, I was pushed to my limit. I was past exhaustion and would collapse to the point of fainting. I couldn't do it by myself, there was no way. During the first meet, a random praise song just popped into my head and I sang it the ENTIRE race, just remembering that the Lord is where my strength is, and through him, anything is possible. I looked around me and the colors of the trees, mingled with the reflection of the lake topped with the pounding of my feet on the asphalt overwhelmed me, and I felt the strength of the God of the universe inside of me.

I finished 5th in a race of over 250 girls. That's not me...that's him.

Everytime I get weary, everytime I get groan at the thought of an 800m interval workout, I just remember the card that my dad wrote to me when I got invited to the William and Mary Invitational. I keep it in my Bible and it has Hebrews 12:1 written on it:

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and run with endurance the race marked out for us."

So, why the heck do I run? Because I glorify God through it. I see his power as the colors of the trees whip past me, I hear him encouraging me with every surge of pain, whispering those words that let me know he is never going to let me down. So, as for me:

"Into marvelous light I'm running, out of darkness, out of pain"

The Words That You Say

Sometimes waiting can be one of the most annoying and heart-wrenching experiences. What does it mean to wait on God? About a week ago, I wrote a letter to a girl telling her I had feelings for her and although at the moment I had it justified in my head, somehow I'm not so sure that its what God wanted me to do. I'm not claiming to know how the mind of God works because i dont have any idea to tell u the truth, but i wanted something so i decided to just flat out go for it. Maybe a lil bit of a mistake :). Something Like Silas has a song called The Words that You Say and the chorus says, So I await the words that You say, I open my life; I am longing just to hear these words, that You say, that You say. Something that I pull of that song is that we are supposed to wait on God. Does that mean that when we dont hear from God to just flat out go for what we want? I honestly dont think so. One of the verses in that song says, "Speak in this close communion, though this hour seems timeless still, I wait for Your words that bid may come." I wait for Your words that bid may come. I mean woah! Its really cool to see that the more God speaks into our lives and we allow Him to take control, the more peace we will have. No matter how long it may take, "Bid" will come. God is always going to be faithful. Having talked with Brett Crimmel about his experience in getting called to Virginia its kind of an eye opener to the fact that sometimes we just have to wait on God. He is always going to be faithful. I've been having some pretty eye opening experiences lately and its just really awesome to see how God honestly is revealing Himself to me in so many different experiences. For instance, I was listening to the old-school switchfoot song Learning to Breathe on the way to fairfax corner yesterday and it was just pretty cool to sit back and listen to the chorus when it says I'm learning to breathe, I'm learning to crawl. Im finding that You and You alone can break my fall. I'm not a very smart person. and its awesome to think that no matter how many times I'm gonna go and write those letters of "affection", and everytime I fall, It's God teaching me how to breathe; teaching me how to crawl.

Welcome To Wherever You Are

Maybe we're all different
But we're still the same
We all got the blood of Eden running through our veins
I know sometimes it's hard for you to see
You're caught between just who you are and who you want to be

If you feel alone and lost and need a friend
Remember every new beginning is some beginning's end

Life can be hard sometimes. Who am I kidding life is hard almost all the time. School, parents, relationships, we all have hard times in life, some more than others. Sometimes it feels like Gods out to get you. Well I got a message for all of you. He's not!!!! He has a plan for all of us. Every single one. The hard times we go through always have a purpose. I'm sure if you were to look hard enough at everything bad thats happened to you would be able to draw out important life lessons from all of them. God isn't one the opposing team here. He's on ours. You just have to trust that the hard times you've gone through or are going through has a purpose. Like Bon Jovi says:

Welcome to wherever you are
This is your life; you made it this far
Welcome, you got to believe
Right here, right now you're exactly where you're supposed to be
Be who you want to be, be who you are
Everyone's a hero, everyone's a star

When you want to give up and your heart's about to break
Remember that you're perfect; God makes no mistakes

NONE!!!!!

One Thing

Even though I know
I don't want to know
Yeah I guess I know
I just hate how it sounds

How many times do we know what God's plan for us is but refuse to accept it. I know I've done that. In fact I've been doing that all my life. You see all my life I had a plan. The plan was simple enough. Go into the military, become a hero, get married and have kids. So when I prayed to God for these things I thought I wasn't praying for anything major. But I was. I was asking God to do what I wanted. Not what He wanted. God showed me the error of my ways last summer. I was all of a sudden hearing him say, "What if that doesn't happen. What if you go into the military and die, young." I don't know why but it never occur ed to me that I could die. Stupid I know. But I always thought that everything I was asking for was kind of a given. When I finally realized this I was mad. Not at God but at myself. I mean what kind of solider is willing to fight for his country but not die for it. I realized that the reason why I didn't want to die for my country was because I had no reason to. But then God gave me a reason. I went on a cross-country road trip with my dad and I was amazed at the shear beauty of this country. I couldn't keep looking out the window of the car and just praising God for letting me live a country so beautiful. A country were his power could be seen just by looking out the window. There is something in the air here that inspires patriotism so intense. An intensity that I haven't seen in any other country that I've ever been to. And I've been to a lot of places. So I finally accepted the fact that I may die young. With no family. Nobody to remember me. But that's o.k. cause like the chorus in the song One Thing says:

If I traded it all
If I gave it all away for one thing
Just for one thing
If I sorted it out
If I knew all about this one thing
Wouldn't that be something

So if you hear God telling you something that you don't want to hear. Something that will change your life forever. Trust him, in his own time he will make everything alright. After all, wouldn't it be awesome if you gave it all away for GOD.

Wouldn't it?

Bent

What does it mean to be bent on something? I have tried a lot of different things in the span of my short 16 year old life and yet, somehow, my life has seemed to revolve around me. What can I get out of this? Who can help ME? What part do I have in this? It's been ME ME ME. I have a friend named Brandon Burch. You can ask anyone who knows me well that he is probably my biggest hero of all time. He was in a band called everyday collision and they wrote a song called Bent. One idea that I pull out of the song is that we want less of us and so much more You (being God). We should want to place God before ourselves and lay ourselves down. But I love the wording in the chorus because it talks about living a life bent on Christ. What does it mean to be bent on something? I know what it is to be bent out of shape but what is like to really be bent into shape? A shape that doesn’t mean I’m in control of what’s going on but in shape with God. Sophocles talks about reason and about trees branches either bend in a storm, or they break. And for me, I think that I try and stand firm when the stormy times come but that just leads to my breakdown. How is it that I have to be in control and in charge of what’s going on with me when its so much easier than that. If a tree bends in a storm then the tree is sustained because it was not stubborn and did not snap. I simply just have to lay my life and be willing to be bent. I want to be done standing tall when all it leads to is just breaking. I'm ready to live a life bent on Christ.

Time To Stand

Gosh again with the country songs!!! I know.. I know. Haha. So I have really been struggling a lot and hurting a lot for a while now. I don’t think I have ever been on my knees in tears more then I have this past month. And this literally just happened to me, I was sitting here writing in my journal and listening to some music and I I start to listen to this Rascal Flats song called “Stand.” And it goes like this…

You feel like a candle in a hurricane
Just like a picture with a broken frame
Alone and helpless like you’ve lost your fight
But you’ll be alright, you’ll be alright

Cause when push comes to shove
You taste what you’re made of
You might bend ‘til you break
Cause it’s all you can take
On your knees you look up
Decide you’ve had enough
You get mad, you get strong
Wipe your hands, shake it off
Then you stand, then you stand

Every time you get up and get back in the race
One more small piece of you starts to fall into place – yeah

Honestly guys… that’s how I have been feeling. I was SO on fire for God I could feel it all… the goose bumps in worship, The “wow effect” when I saw an amazing sunrise. And then it was all gone and I had no idea what to do. I mean I still don’t really fully know what to do besides just follow him. And I feel like that candle in a hurricane. I feel like I’m struggling SO much to keep my fire alive, I feel alone and helpless like I’ve lost my fight. Ya know guys.. I have been bending so far in all directions and right when I feel like im about to break, I find just a little bit of strength to keep me going, have it be in a verse or in encouragement from a friend. God gives me a little something to keep going. I mean I know that all the things that i go through will make me stronger, yet sometimes I just wish that it wasn’t so painful. But every time I fall and every time my faith just gets to the plateau where I’m standing there going… “I’m doing everything I should be… I’m reading my bible I’m seeking you… what now God? What am I not doing?!” he meets me there, and shows me where to go next. And after its all said and done, another piece of me falls into place and I find out more and more who I am Christ.

by Lauren Huntley

We Keep On Waiting

we keep on waiting
waiting on the world to change



So every night as I battle my insomnia and try to fall asleep I listen to my ipod. Usually I just kind of listen to the beat of the songs I have on my bed time playlist but last night I was feeling risky and I listened to my driving music. Then the song Waiting on the World to Change by John Mayer came on and I started thinking about things. Some people I know have been telling me that praying in the hallway is annoying and pointless. Why?? What's the problem?



"me and all my friends
we're all misunderstood
they say we stand for nothing and
there's no way we ever could"



So there's that first part that caught my attention. "They say we stand for nothing" God is defintaly not nothing. We are seen as the Jesus freaks. Most of the time that doesn't bother me. Every now and then though it does. Anyways back on track, that just really hit home for me. The next part where he says "Now we see everything that's going wrong with the world and those who lead it we just feel like we don't have the means to rise above and beat it." This is true on sooooo many levels. We see so many people by themselves at lunch, in the hall, everywhere. I think to myself all the time that I am just going to go over and talk to them-but i dont. I don't stand up for people, I just go with the flow. I like to think to myself that "Oh, I couldnt really make a difference." But I could. It's just that I think that we are too used to how things are to change. Maybe we think that we couldnt do it because we don't want to go through the challenge.



So I keep going over the chorus in my head. "We keep on waiting, waiting on the world to change" It pretty much sums it up. WHY dont we stop waiting and DO something about it!! WHY dont I stop worrying about what others think and stop keeping Jesus to myself!? WHY dont I reach out to those who misunderstand me and WHY do I push them away instead?



-Rachel Saltarelli

Start A New Life. Start It Over.

I think I'll start a new life. I think I'll start it over. Where no one knows my name.

I guess lately I have felt a sense of not-fitting in. Not in a social aspect. But in a more personal way. I don't feel like I belong. And I was sitting in Spanish, listening to music (yea that's how I roll). And a song named Boston starts playing. The song is about starting a new life - and when I listened to this; I literally got Goosebumps - kind of like a heads up from God saying "listen up". I'm not sure if I am the only one who feels like they aren't themselves all the time. This song is about new beginnings. "I think I need a sunrise. I'm tired of the sunset" And that's exactly how I feel. Like I feel to comfortable not being myself that I haven't tried to be myself. Therefore not forgetting who I am, but just not in touch with who I am.

You know when your little "and you roll the dice of a game" and the results aren't what you wanted and you scream "DO OVER!" (or in my sisters case "my game my rules") But right now I wish I could just scream "DO OVER!!!!" And in this song it says


"I'll go to Boston...
I think I'll start a new life,
I think I'll start it over, where no one knows my name"


I guess I realized that through Christ I am a new creation ... I get a "do-over". I get a new chance to be a new person. I think I'll start a new life. Jesus gives us a chance to have a "do over" ... why don't we take it? Why do we keep saying "my game, my rules" when we are going to loose if we don't take the "do over"

in the light of the sun, is there anyone?

-Buddy B!!!!!!

anyone can comment ... at least for now

I know some of you aren't Blogger users ... so we've lifted the requirement for people leaving comments to go through their membership process.

Only 5 days into it and we're seeing CRAZY traffic on this site! Only three reviews - and all kinds of great comments!

YOU GUYS ROCK!!!! Let's be more creative - where else do you see God in your music?

WHO'S IN YOUR HEAD?

Keep it up,
brett & chapy

my life and passion

WELL!!! I'm not sure if i already told you in the last blog, but I'm kinda new to the whole blogging it up deal. I am a fan of Donald Miller, the author of Blue Like Jazz, and Through Painted Deserts. Donald Miller's style is one of the few that truly captivates me. I'm not a big fan of reading but I dunno, I can just see the passion in his writing. He truly loves what he does. Ok, so getting to the point about the new blogging deal, Donald Miller has artsy moments in his books and so I have had days where I'm like, how could I could turn this into a Donald Miller moment? woah! Now that I got that out of my system, This is post number two for Finding God on Your Ipod. I topic that has been really relavant in my life is passion. If you dont know me, I'm a really emotional person and I love to feel love for something, to have passion in any area of my life. I used to get the goosebumps in times when I felt intimate with God and lately, theres just not too much of that going on. I'm not sure if its a lack of pursuit on my part or if its a season of life to build me up. But! Earlier Tonite I was watching John Mayer in concert. I love the guitar and for the other guitar players, he's pretty much fantastic! But one thing that stands out in his style of guitar to me is the passion. You can see in his face and his songs that he honestly just loves the music. In Blue Like Jazz, Miller talked about there was a saxophone player on the street and he stood there for 15 minutes and the man never opened his eyes. What does it mean to be so passionate; so intense; so dedicated. I think about Jesus and about how He couldnt have lived the life that He did without an insane amount of passion in His life. I'm not talking about a specific song for John Mayer, but I just think its absolutely amazing and beautiful that John Mayer can be so passionate about something. Why is it that in my life, I have trouble living a life thats passionate about Christ when He's so much greater than music. I'm just searching.

by Jake Augeri

Looking For Something More To Life?

So I’m a huge country music fan!!! Like I LOVE my country
music! And I was driving home from swim practice one day listening to WMZQ (best country radio stations) when I hear this song come on called “something more” by sugarland. As I’m driving I’m thinking about all the things that are going in my own life and all the things that I have really been struggling with. I’m at a stoplight and I start to pay attention to the song on the radio and the lyrics are this.

There's gotta be something more
Gotta be more than this
I need a little less hard time
I need a little more bliss
I'm gonna take my chances
Taking a chance I might
Find what I'm looking for
There's gotta be something more

Five years and there's no doubt
That I'm burnt out, I've had enough
So now boss man, here's my two weeks
I'll make it short and sweet, so listen up
I could work my life away, but why?
I got things to do before I die

And I’m thinking… wow. How is it that people could feel that down that they make a song about this, and honestly… it came from their heart. I mean… what do you think they are missing?! To me it seems like they are just lost in not knowing why they are living life? Like in the last two lines… “I could work my life away, but why? I got things to do before I die.” I mean this is a song about the people around me. I know so many people who are looking for something more to life… but what?! What could possibly fill the void that they feel in their hearts? Well… I have it, I have something that could fill that empty space that they are dieing to fill up! But I don’t notice how bad they need it!! Im to wrapped up in my own problems to notice that people are searching for something more to life… that something more… is Jesus Christ. The one who died to save your life, and the only one who can fill the empty void.

by Lauren Huntley

Revalations from the back of an airplane...

I don't really like to sit in the window seat all that much. The feeling of being enclosed and not free to roam or walk to the bathroom without having to ask someone to get up is just sometimes more than I can bare. So where do I begin? A couple weeks ago, 5 other guys and I went to disney world to play in a 3 on 3 national tournament. Well... we went on a plane and i ended up sitting in the window seat on both the way there and the way back. On the way there, our flight was at 6:30 in the morning so you can probably guess that not too much deep thinking went on there. On the way back however, I had to work on a government paper. We had to write a bill and while I was working on it, I was listening to music on my sisters laptop. I was listening to the song I don't want to be by Gavin Degraw and the chorus says I don't wanna be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately. So i was sitting in the back of an airplane listening to this song when I had one of those crazy revalations. I started thinking and I turned the words in that song around. I changed to chorus and applied it to my life by saying. I dont wanna be anything that I've been trying to be lately. Chapy and I did our first podcast for the first finding God on Your ipod series and as he pointed out, I pretty much the entire idea of the song around but it just goes to show you that God can reveal Himself in so many different ways. Revalations don't have to come from "Christian" music or from "Church". God is so much greater than any of our everyday settings.

by Jake Augeri